She explained that he opened her mind the way no one else has, and he inspired her to be a better and more creative person. This went on for at least a year. Im really glad I found this article. We had always argued and we had our share of problems, but the day our biggest problem came alive was the day we both decided it would be best if I went off of this medication. Sounds like you have forgotten how to live. Even without the adderall, Im still interested in sociology & sustainability, & globalization & all that other cool shit! Staying on the Adderall is not going to help you move forward, you are going to remain stuck. However, you should be getting paid the big bucks for starting this website and maybe even create one to prevent people from ever starting. Just wanted to warn you about the ultimate destruction of this addiction. She is now talking about moving to New York to be with this new guy, the third person she has stated is her soul mate in 3 months and when I asked her why it was okay for her to move 17 hours away but when I move one hour away its suddenly a problem. I got through all that without Adderall. Who I am to her is who I am on Adderall. I usually see this in marriages where youve started taking Adderall over the course of the marriage and your significant other wants the old you back. I never even thought about the side affects of this drug, I was blind to what was actually going on. They will (properly) associate your withdrawal symptoms with your commitment and love for them. Problem is I did not stop after it was too early in the day to be coming down with no brakes. Even if you love your partner, when they call you while youre at work, tweaked out on Adderall, youre going to say just let me finish this thing Im working on. When you say this, you know its just the Adderall talking, but they dont know that. Much love DeeZee, This past summer i started a relationship with a beatiful young lady that was off of adderall for the summer. Another, is our diet, what were putting in our bodies that can cause more severe disorders. Although graduation was a big deal, it was like a footnote in my mind because I wasn't fully grasping what was happening around me. Thank you so much. I only realized it when he thought I was trying to make him break up with me. I used to love lifting weights. They have no weirdness like Amphetamines. My heart goes out to all the stories I see here. NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO MEnot his prescriber nor him. So I know how hopeless you feel right now. I want things now and am willing to just talk and talk to try to convince someone to get what I want. She is spiraling out of control. Im sorry that your post is being invaded by a continuing user. I was afraid of her reaction because like you, I placed it in the same category as drugs and alcohol. If I can handle that without Adderall, I can handle anything without Adderall! But she will never know that the whole time I felt love for her. Then we broke up over me walking out on her and not talking to her for a week. When friends would tap me on the back just to say hello, I'd scream like they had jumped out at me in a vacant parking lot. I would save my money and quit on my own, you can do it. But allowing God tobe responsible for saving him frees me up to find out who I am and what makes me happy!! And dont do this for long. Im really confused at this point because I simply cant achieve the same results off the adderall. Aila Images. It ruined the outgoing, loving, selfless person I used to be. Dont be! During this psychotic break, I incurred 5 misdemeanor charges and ruined my life. He was the chill to his crazy. On the relationship side, push pull for sure, adderall kept me with a girl for 2 years. I began gliding through my 12h shifts and just overall barking back at life. My twin sister was having an affair with my long time boyfriend the every guy one we both fell for but picked me. I was numb. How would your significant other react if you suddenly had to lean on them heavily? We are not helpless, hopeless martyrs in all this at least we can CHOOSE to find something bigger than us , bigger than this horrible drug that ruins families, shredding, tearing them apart piece by piece!! Ive tried sending a few fun, laid back texts to make him laugh and he ignores it! I wouldnt trade those things for anything and I hope one day I feel them again. But be very careful about making any other major life decisions while still under the influence of Adderall, because you cannot know whether you will hate them later until after you quitand then it may be too late. When stimulants such as Adderall and Vyvanse (the most commonly prescribed ADHD medication for adults), along with others like Focalin and Concerta, raise the brain's levels of the chemical. Now I understand what happened to my relationship and the Girl that I love so much. You are using an out of date browser. I am certain he lost his job because if such hyper focus he couldntr keep upfocused for hours off the track of his job, pursuing the crazy ideas of a man who is high on speed. The key is not quitting but finding the right balance of it in your life. Thats all on him , I still remain powerless and will always be powerless . You parents had no way of knowing your real situation when they gave you what would have otherwise been extremely sound advice. My story is long and I'd be happy to share if you desire. They understand what I go through but they quickly forget. Say things like look, I know you want the old me back, and Im ready to do that for you because I love you, but its not going to be all roses. Also consider making your first dose of the day smaller. Will this disease always control him? I love her a lot. I was in a relationship from years 4-8 of that decade and Adderall had major effects on that romance (mostly negative). I didnt give the love, time and respect she deserved and the bad thing is I really had no idea I was like that. He left me, and I dont know how to move forward. As your memory will probably tell you, it can be agonizing to be on the pursuer side. My heart is broken from the brake up and it was hard for me to deal with the fact that she made the choice she did. He told me from the beginning that he had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but me being a patient person, never found this difficult to handle. Try to sleep every night. Unfortunately everything can change in a heartbeat. She had told me she met someone else, someone nearly twice her age, and explained to me that they were soul mates. Thank You God!! She was very verbal and emotionally crippling.. Weve been dating for about one and a half years. This didnt matter to me. I like both sexes so I get girls and guys after me, oh one interesting piece of info, on adderal I tend to like women more and off of it I like guys more! Recovery Support The Dark Side Adderall ruined me.. StimPenguin Aug 5, 2022 StimPenguin Greenlighter Joined Aug 5, 2022 Messages 4 Aug 5, 2022 #1 I'm just here to vent about my experience with my adderall use. On adderall I easily tell people what I think about them and pick them apart. To my greatest surprise my wife called me at exactly 2 days and apologies for all he had done, he said he never knew what he is doing and his sudden behavior was not intentional and he promised not to do hurt again. Just time passing by. Although a great combo I cannot say much good about this one either. I started adderall when I was 19. And now she is with a man who is the crazy to her crazy. I didn't used to do that. she took these drugs with no presription and didnt need these drugs to finish school , cause she was smart enough to do it on her own. Right now its kind of self-destructing. I'm a 28 year old man, I can't imagine what my life could be if I had it through high school & college. It keeps me awake and alert when my depression would leave me in bed, I spent about 2 years like that before Adderall, and I dont see myself pulling it all together again in 1 month, like the cold turker guide suggests. Its not like that all the time of course. I did find a non stimulant alternative natural that controlled my adhd, but it is addictive, it is called Kratom. I feel so depressed, like there is no meaning to life anymore. He has control over me . I'm no longer going to make excuses for my PAIN, my HURT that an active addict selfish and self-centered doesn't have the ability to give me the comfort I'm craving and turn away from the Adderall monster and choose me instead!! com and please use this email in the regular format. Like she knew how to get what she want in whatever way she wanted it from both boys and girls. I shoulda stuck to getting high with it and the worse part is I am aware in love with how it has helped me function as society requires me too. Ive been keeping track to make sure Im not just insane; he hasnt told me he loves me without me saying it first for weeks. Will I ever know or understand or forgive h truly for the choices he made and the hurt he has caused ? Can anyone help? I just got a raise at work for the second time this year. Was being equals before just an illusion? Thats the exact opposite of what a person taking Adderall to enhance work performance wants., https://medium.com/media/bd7f62e10c7a9939806c17f61fa9a12b/href. If you need his help, trust me. Excuse the irateness. Supposedly, she takes this adderall with prozac.. She hates me asking her if she is taking her meds.. Last time i asked, she told me she was still on the prozac but stopped the adderal. Will I ever be able to trust in him again? she knew i was content with what i had and what she had but she wanted to be so rich like adding riches ti what she already had. cos the last i checked twin protect themselves not try and hurt the other. He would come visit our kids and then hed let me sleep with him. Dont be afraid to be your selves. She explained to me that man was not what she thought he was going to be and he was really strange and freaked her out but while she was in NYC she had met someone else and they exchanged phone numbers. I have no feelings. Also I had just moved an hour away from our grandparents for financial reasons but Im willing to make the drive to see them. we broke up when I found him looking for people online but got back together when he decided our life was too good. He told me once again that I was perfect for him, but that right now was not the right time. I started to think about all the relationships that she had and how they were very shallow and almost nonexistant. Anytime i was with him i felt this pain in my heart it was like its bleeding but it was bleeding love. It makes him such a good student, and his confidence in school is beautiful. However, I do know what it is like to lose your ability to function in life. This medication has made me appear to function like a superstar to those that I interact with when I'm working. I supported her not knowing what was about to happen. It began when my college boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was six months away from entering into the adult world alone. Now, I spend a lot of time alone reading and at work. DUDE your post i just read so closely reflects my life right now that i swear i was looking into a mirror when i was reading. Stroke. Im sorry that your post is being invaded by a continuing user. My story is my bf and I met in college he was clingy and needy and at first I wasnt interested. We got back together in a long distance relationship. I dont believe that in the first place but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my wife left me and also told me some hidden secrets. I would take 100mg of Adderall XR in the morning and clock an average of 20 hours of pure work that day. It has helped me become who I am. Not incredibly active but also not feeling like a dead weight. I might have tried to quit to stay with her, but then Id sneak in a pill here and there, gradually get back on the routine, and lie about it until she found out. I have been scammed and conned by a good amount of people I have dealt with in my lifetime, maybe that's why I think people in general are just bad. I cried reading Ts comments about his parents and his fears that he would fail to meet their academic expectations if he stopped using Adderol. He said he does not want to lose me, but I hate feeling like this drug is also pushing us farther apart. You like them an all, but youre not losing sleep over what might happen to the relationship if you quit Adderallits the last thing on your mind. I on the other hand took it for about two years and then began starting and stopping because I would reach a point where I began feeling to anxious. Adderall is used by studen. I don't even think Rehab is necessary. The mood swings from starting and stopping this drug and the length of time it has gone on has taken its toll on the marriage and my family. We would spend six months living in NC then come back this way. a few months after being together i found out she took adderall and i didnt think much of it. To take a Year or two off from college and work for a national park or at starbucks or Park City or Vail as a ski bum. I started to read more about adderall and learned that in fact it is the result of taking these drugs. Now I am on a mission to spread awareness of the side effects of Adderall &any attention deficit medication, or medication in general. If it doesn't make me physically crash & force me to go to sleep or take a lengthy nap, brutal depression & anxiety frequently follow. Perhaps the hardest times are when someone is coming off the medication or cycles through the medication on a regular basis. When I first met him he was this shy, sweet, caring person who showed me ways of affection and consoled me when I needed. It was humiliating for myself and him. Even those lucky enough to escape the drugs addictive grip are sure to experience bumps along the road. Adderall is a prescription stimulant used primarily to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD, but it is also sometimes prescribed for sleep disorders and depressionunder the close supervision of a medical professional. Before adderrall I was begging him for affection all the time, I was so lonely. She forces herself, this new guy and myself into a three way conversation so I can be convinced they were the same soul. But you are so addicted, and you cant get out of bed without it, so you might as well. Her distancing and under independence make me desperate to pursue in an effort to save our once profound intimacy, sex, and marriage. My relationship with my girlfriend kept getting stronger and I became dependent on our conversations, intimacy, and dates for the dopamine rush. I want to help himI want to be supportive, patient and understanding. The Heart and Cardiovascular System. I miss the giddiness. I begged him to come back to me. When her daughter is not around the doors are slammed in her face. So quite or start going to events to get in touch with crazy people both are not very appealing. When shes under the adderall effect she is distant. I get lots of attention since I started these hormones, I mean massive attention, but now I feel little back! we fell in love. The old me would be too lazy and goofy to focus on playing with legos but instead be rolling around on my bed hugging my girlfriend with giddiness. Thats the approach Ive been taking and I feel better already. Im the type of person that realizes that Im distant when Im on my Adderall, and I feel guilty for it, but often tries to forget about it, and Im often disappointed about it, but I want to accomplish my goals to benefit our life for the futureto live comfortably, worry-freeyet I seem to control it better when Im around my girlfriend now, than when I first started taking it. Ive tried before but this time I think I pulled it off well. I mean who wouldnt fall for him he was cute caring and always knew what to say at the right time. Id be selfish and not think about what she would want to do. My heart is broken from the brake up and it was hard for me to deal with the fact that she made the choice she did. I had trouble concentrating, I was moody, tons of digestion issues plus more. If they did know your full situation, what do you think they would tell you? On my med combo for which adderall is the real workhorse, I am MORE compassionate with family and strangers the problems is friends and relationships. I hope this wears off soon. It's been incredibly effective & has made me finally be able to work like a semi normal person. I love him with all my heartbut he thinks im weighing him down. My husband has been on Adderall for almost all of his adult life roughly the past 13 years. One thing that i also loved about this man is that he is understandable and he reduce or negotiate how much you can get for the work you want him to help you with. Life stories on how Doxycycline ruined lives As my dose wore off Id get closer with her and wed be very close and intimate. After reading on here I can see so much of the latter part of my relationship and the monster he was becoming. About a half a year ago I was prescribed adderall to counterbalance the side effects I was having from another migraine medication. Good article, but I just want to add some additional thoughts: I have experienced what I would call an opposite kind of effect with my girlfriend who takes adderall. There's usually some kind of downregulation or weakened communication following extensive stimulant use. I have been looking into ways to deal with this and the word Rehab is coming up a lot. but I'm need of an alternative method. Heart attack. I ultimately left her for my ex. 1 week I went down to 20mgs, the next week maybe 10, and I slowly decreased just like that, and by the 3rd week or so, I quit completely. When he gets mean, most of the time I just walk away and give him space and sleep in the other room for my own mental health. Now a couple years later Im in a relationship and this article takes the words almost straight out of my conversations with my partner. Sorry to hear about your relationship ending. I walk on egg shells. Not sure what to say but judging by how you called them the devil's pills I'd say rethink continuing to get them prescribed and stop getting them otherwise altogether if you still are. The immediate effect in his personality was obvious; his only thought was excelling in his work, he lost emotion and humor, and he even told me he didnt love me anymore. So T, you are wrong about your parents if you think they would want you to take Adderol to get through college. When I was doing crank.. Yes, I had a choice I could have stayed divorced and shared our kids and newborn baby for 18+ years (with him and some wanna-be mom!) Thanks for your comment. Cause I knew I didnt want to be with her permanently and I knew how bad she was for me. I still miss them and wish we were able to spend more time together, but I no longer feel rejected. The pros are that he has no trouble coming to bed with me and doesnt wear me out telling me for hours all of the things I did wrong for the previous few weeks. I have pursued him all I can and now have let it go. AddictionCenterYour guide for addiction and recovery Treatment providers are waiting for your call: Calls are forwarded to these paid advertisers (870) 515-4356 Menu close Search Find Rehab Online Therapy Alcohol After a little research, I discovered there are many known links to Vyvanse and manic behavior. Ive been an amazing girlfriend to him, Ive stayed by his side, let him treat me badly forgave to be with him. I was really into music (and still am), and I would write songs in math class or hum a melody in world geography. Reading this article has helped me understand his behaviors more. REALITY: ADHD affects your IQ. I got great grades and I was frustrated with people who werent as interested in EVERYTHING as I was. We too begged the doctor to stop giving him the Adderall to no avail. Hell start a convo then disappear for a day or two mid convo. Fast forward 10 years and really I have no idea who I am. "I had long been telling myself that by taking Adderall, I was exerting total control over my fallible self, but in truth, it was the opposite: The Adderall made my life unpredictable, blowing black storm systems over my horizon with no warning at all." Well her and this new guy have been talking non stop, even more than she was talking to the 40 year old tattoo artist. 2. I'm new to sobriety. I was placed on adderall XR 30mg a year ago. This was three months ago after staying with family. Ending note: dont let adderall change who you are and if it is atleast acknowledge it, and let the person who you are with know. I tried all i could to get by knowing or having the thought in my heart that we could still fix us only to realize he broke up with me to actually date a girl i he meant. But he has yet to call me. Always posting pictures of him, taking about him, fussing over him, etc. People often become suicidal with the increased dosages that make the drug dangerous for a few. Im far behind and I hope she doesnt have to pick up my slack. The exact science is not yet understood but the HPA axis is for sure part of it. Hes hardheaded and not willing to change. Youre demanding a lot from this poor boy without adequately considering his perspective. The side effects of Adderall have resulted in multiple horrors: In 2011, class president and aspiring medical student Richard Fee hanged himself in his bedroom closet, after struggling for years with an Adderall addiction enabled by careless doctors. Either Bipolar, Schizophrenia, or Schizoaffectivedisorder. 4. counselling, if you can afford it 5. and here's the most important part - you need to start dating other girls and try to move on. So yes the doctor was right. I intentionally over take it to stay high, even though I always stay within my daily dosage which is 50mgs. It acts as a stimulant on the central nervous system and increases energy levels. Behind it is a strong desire to be able to do these things. She doesnt realize how she is acting when she is acting that way but I do. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I dont blame them, they dont know about the adderall and definitely didnt think Id do it this way. We also need to think about whether our regulation of this controlled substance is working. Hed leave little post-its on my desk before I came in (we worked together at the time). The only drug I take and like is Lamictal It works with little to no side effect. I met my ex boyfriend in highschool in NC, we dated and we had a pretty rough break up but he was my first love. They are very hard to help. The longest I have gone without it is 6 weeks. Then, he moved to a different state and began searching for a career. Am I selfish, or selfless, for taking Adderall? Rx but faked the test. I have to change everything in my life Im completely powerless and I did nothing to get to this point . You dont appear to need your partner at all. (4) You want women & men to run after you. Its a comment that you must read to avoid been ripped off and know the real spell caster on earth God sent to change and turn lives around without any harm / side effect. ohh there is just so much to say..and it always leads back to adderall.my new doctor asked me if adderall was my secret weapon at work. I love her a lot. At the same time, I actually think I'm killing myself with it. I would sue the pharmaceutical company, but they know that Adderall can cause these symptoms, have disclaimers, but don't make these effects well-known to the . The entire span is like memories of my childhood: just little flashes of things, though I couldn't place the when or where of them all. It makes me nice, calm and stable and helps a bit with the stimulant side off adderall. Not sure how to fix myself. I have sent him emails and texts and tried calling him a bunch of times. In my head there was nothing on earth that was ever going to get me involved in such thing but life as we know throw s**t at your door and some how the doors opens up and let it strike you.